the sea. you know that there’s more to the water, the blueness, the blue skies above the blue waters, the sound of the little waves, and the smell of salt. while the beauty is inviting, it is at the same time, frightening. especially when you are in the middle of it. if you think about it. you pray that you won’t be swallowed by it alive and that it sails you safely to your destination.
being thirty. being in the middle of one life span. you know that you can do anything now. for most, it spells fun- parties, drinks, sex, freedom. but you also know that there’s more to that. and that “more” spells work, uncertainties, and the ever threatening “future.” you have to start at this point, if you haven’t, to act and meet the expectations. a job, a family of your own, a smooth going-on. you know you can’t just pray that you’ll easily get to where you wanna be. and you know you have to sail your boat yourself because in the case of life, you would get swallowed to death if you did not do so. or worse, it would leave you alive and sink you into the depths of its emptiness. but sometimes, it is easier to resist all of that. why be pressured? why be concerned of what your life will turn out to be? why think?
as we’ve come to know, things have not much essence as they are. and we always seek for meaning, for something more beautiful our reality hides from us. sometimes, it’s scary to think. what if nothing’s really out there? but sometimes, it’s also our refuge. that beyond the boring or troubled existence lies a “heaven.”
sometimes though, it is easier to just close your eyes. sometimes, there is already too much to see that gives you too little to make you look beyond. and you just hope by the time you open your eyes, you would really see what your heart wishes to see.