that what is worth of words

Travel, you’re a temptress.

I didn’t know you then that much.

I was okay with waking up, heading to work, and going back home.

I was okay with routines. True, they weren’t very fun, but boredom wasn’t killing my sanity either.

I didn’t have to stress myself planning for anything, empty my pocket for something, and tire my feet for every distance I would have to take.

I was content with the little pleasures I got from television, songs, and hanging out with the  usual people and things around me.

I was generally content with the life I knew.

In fact, I goaled to only finish school, get one job and stay in it till retirement age, maybe marry (or not) and have a daughter, and buy a house for my family and stay there until the day I- or we- die. For me, that was the ultimate dream.

But not anymore.

Because now you’re messing with my straight-ahead plan. After I tried you once, you’ve left me with this addiction. You’ve showed me that there’s more to sitting all day in front of a glaring monitor and aiming to own the recent gadgets being sold. Because you’ve awed me with the beauty of the different places you’ve taken me to and the identities they’re proud of. You’ve thrilled me with the means you took me to those destinations. And you’re teasing “More!”

You’re pushing me to leave my comfortable ways, the people I have to take care of, and the convenience of stable existence. You’re pushing me to go farther and explore further. You implant in me this desire, this rush for the risky uncertain. You’re making my brain and heart debate whether I should heed your tempting call, along with the contrasting anxiety and excitement you bring.

I know I couldn’t fully trust you.  I know you could lead me to failures and worries and more fears. I know you have no promises of gold or diamonds. I know you only want me to test my courage, to furnish my faith, and to let go of what I am used to.

Honestly, I really don’t know what you’re up to.

But isn’t that what life is all about? Isn’t our being born to non-knowledge of what really life is the true mark of the fact that life should not be defined but should just be lived?

I don’t mean being reckless. Life should be a balance of experience and responsibility. Good values should never change despite a daring attitude toward life. And that is what I would want to engage myself into– to experience what living has to offer while being responsible and still value-full in doing so.

I don’t think I could still resist you for long. I am scared. But beyond that, I am hopeful. For life, for love, for finding my purpose, for my faith, and for living for the present.

I don’t intend to do you just for the heck of doing you. More than capturing our moments with a lens and having the “hey-i-was-here” shout-outs, I would want to learn more from you, the kind of lessons that would challenge the heart, my soul. I am readying myself now for you. Soon, I will totally embrace you. Because I would no longer suppress my capacity to fully live the life I’m blessed of.

Yes, fly me to the realms of your temptation.

IF

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2 responses

  1. Very true! so far my favorite blog of yours, simple yet everything strikes…:)

    May 26, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    • Thanks Rhei. You’re one of those who’s inspired me to bite in to the temptation. Hehe. Soon. Will have a series of posts of our SG-ML escapades in the next few days. U take care.

      May 26, 2013 at 2:46 pm

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