“home. since they say, it is where the heart is, i’ll find my true home once i find my heart.”
not my home, or house. just some surviving house a little right across the space i occupy at present, which i also cannot sentimentally call ‘my home.’ in fact, i do not have any place or physical structure that i can call as such. although i did write a bit about my hometown (my mother’s, and where i spent a decade for education and a few years building a profession that i eventually left), i feel guilty sometimes calling it mine. although it doesn’t complain, i don’t think i still have the right to call it ‘my home’ for i am always somewhere else. in the last few years, i treat it as ‘my retreat house’ because i go there only if i need some, yes, retreating. but i do not have any resentment toward not having a home that i call mine. i like how i have transferred from one town, city, or house to another in my entire existence, and i am even itching right now to move again, if not only for the very cheap cost of the very small space i am currently renting in the very expensive city in this metro i’ve insisted myself into. my aunt was telling my mother that with my present salary, i could already afford to buy a house somewhere in the outskirts of the city. i did try already, but i didn’t continue even if it meant wasting some hard-earned money. i couldn’t commit to more than a year of relationship with a love interest, what makes me think i can for 20-25 years with a Realtor?
back to the house above (photo). it just interested me one lazy afternoon while looking by my room’s window railings. it is sandwiched between tall buildings and modern apartments (which i unfortunately wasn’t able to accurately capture because of the limits of my location), and as you can see, by scary electrical wirings (… calling MERALCO). not a long time ago, this kind of house is already the standard amongst the well-off in the philippines. right now though, it is just trying to survive. it may seem a little out-of-place considering its ‘neighbors,’ but it appears to still stay strong despite some parts being in tatters. and beautiful, i suppose, especially to the family it shelters, the one which calls it home.
one, or make that two… two of of the boons of living in the city are going to your home province and traveling far doing so. in my case, doing both takes eight hours of butt-burning, leg-cramping, and body-freezing sit-down inside a bus. but i’m not really complaining. i prefer the bus actually. i can say that that is the third advantage of living in the city. a trip by bus is a “vacation” in itself. or more like, a retreat. i get to be literally speechless (except when some fellow dares to chit-chat with me and if he or she gets carried away, will narrate his/her entire life story, or when i’m luckier, meet someone who can make my trip “sweet”; but that’s a different story and not for this time). i don’t put earphones to deafen myself with my usual music, but instead, embrace those played on the bus (michael learns to rock, air supply, hotel california, and freddie aguilar- a local artist, a great one- and they are on the repeat, too; music with lyrics i have come to memorize because of my trips like these). and i get to do a lot of self-evaluation, which is always part of my journey home.
my trip last weekend beat my record last year of having only two visits to the province. unfortunately, the approaching christmas holiday is not really a holiday for my work, so the trip was also our pre-christmas celebration. good thing i do not have any more homesickness issues (but there’s always a serious reason every time i come home, and family better not know each; being with them overcomes whatever “reason” it is). my family is still always excited though to learn that i’m coming with the hope that i finally bring a guy along. they never quit with that. and of course, they’re excited for my pasalubong (any food or items brought home for the people who are awaiting the arrival; in our place, a box of biscuits is an infamous pasalubong).
being away for quite a long time makes me appreciate home more. fresh breeze. colder temperature. the greeneries. old reading materials, old photos, and old writings. mama’s food. and the best thing, family, which includes a set of its own– the bickering, the when-are-you-having-your-own-family interrogations, the stories that were told before and told again, but somehow still sound new, nanay’s (grandma) amazing strength being 90+, and just the mere presence of each other.
suddenly, things that were ordinary or were of less value before become special and are seen with a different perspective. i can say that some of the things i saw touring other places are also available in our own place, in our own backyard, and even inside our house. i don’t renounce going on trips to other places because that’s a different experience altogether and a different set of learnings. but traveling home the weekend that passed opened my eyes to things i didn’t give close attention to during the days that i was living here.
i am no photographer, and photos below might just be plain and simple. but they made me happy. and that’s the simple reason why i came home.
first morning of december. by the sea.
strolling. and church (been a while).
no other pictures of the good food i enjoyed. here are random ones though.
so, here’s what i think should be my subject if ever i pursue being a photo hobbyist. with a more legit and expensive (cough, cough) camera. (credits to my cousin Ling’s caring hands in growing such lovely flowers.)
and of course, my homies.
home? check. now, i’m all set for the world… or maybe, just some other places around here. :p
and thanks to you who have just spared me with precious time bearing with my “clicks” viewing all of them (i know, they might be too many already, but i couldn’t help posting all). would love to get a peek of your own “home,” too, or of any of your travels (better if with the sea). can’t wait. 🙂