sometimes, i’m amazed of how i can get so proud and pushy about something in the first place i know is not really a big deal. not to mention, stupid. i am glad to be in an office that despite the imperfections (what office does not have anyways?), i can easily raise any concerns, feedback i have to my immediate superior. i was critiquing a file and i was irked by something i believed was wrong and i think i got a little into the extreme when i tried to insist it was wrong. the issue was so small that it is better not to say what it was. okay, i’ll tell. it was about whether the word “who” is an interrogative pronoun or a relative pronoun in one particular sentence. a few e-mails were sent back and forth, from me to the boss, and from the boss to me that discussed the issue (well, more e-mails from me, actually… pushy me). i was not really the type to usually insist myself even if i know i am right. i am usually nonchalant about things besides being generally quiet. but sometimes when ego strikes, it can change the person. some things probably factored in, like previous trust issues with the superior, conflicting personalities, and the belief that i could never be wrong with the concepts i know by heart having had the job for many years now. this instance could be very trivial i know, but it brought in one big wake-up call. the boss’s last e-mail about the matter kicked my unnecessary guts to where they should belong when she wrote, without a tone i know, that i should not worry much about it. i knew she was still anticipating a yet another aggressive assertion from me. but i gave up as soon as my eyes caught the word “worry” in the boss’s e-mail. yeah, i went way too assertive and worried about something too small, to the point that i might already be offensive, and that’s something i am not proud of. i was reminded that there are a lot more things to be worried and concerned about than that little grammar issue. funny how knowledge or mere information can get into someone’s head and make her forget the more important values she knows. i was swallowed by my ego and then, i was humbled. in regard to my superior, i might have doubted her acts sometimes but i never have doubted the fact that she was the right person in the position. but how do i recover from this self-humiliation? i hope writing “noted” in my last e-mail did it.
inside my box.
selena gomez and justin bieber. kristen stewart and rob pattinson. rihanna and cris brown. by now i know, you have already guessed the one thing common in these celebrity couples. yes, paparazzi, but besides that… love. or is it really love that they have? they hurt each other (emotional or physical), broke up, said hurtful things aimed toward one party or both, said their sorries, and now, got back together. all happy and so in love again like nothing ever happened. the question is… why do i care? no. the questions are: should i say sorry, too? should i accept the apology? should i also sing “we found love in a hopeless place”? arrghh. sometimes, i’m amazed of how i can not get proud and pushy with something i know from the beginning could be a big deal. not to mention, would make me happy. i hope i can finally get the tune of my song right, or better yet, get the right song already. i know, i am in my puzzle-tongue now. but trust me, i’m more confused than you. now, i should feel sorry for my current state. unfortunately, i am not. because i am more giddy. but still confused. i love this day. in a sarcastic tone, yes.